I'm writing this and feeling super tired. I've also been using the word "super" excessively which only proves my point. I love my life. I'm doing my job and working out the rest. I think it is kind of vulnerable for me to write this with some weariness attached. I'm not on my A-game; in fact I think I'm bringing in the g-game at around 8:00 tonight for greek life meeting. I start speaking and forget what I've said only moments before. (Lucky for all involved in the blogspot that I'm typing).
I'm so grateful for all of the opportunities I've had recently... New York, Moscow, a brief jaunt to Siberia and Central Asia. It's like "around the world in thirty days minus 15". I'm learning that traveling to distant lands and New York exposes all that is wrong inside my heart and head. Also that I hate when that stuff bubbles to the surface. What a great and humbling spot to be in.
An extreme reliance on coffee ( for which I am supremely grateful) plus one poem dedicated to my hatred of a New York hostel plus a dramatic scuffle with a flight attendant named Teri equals junk that I would much rather cover up with concealer and some mascara. I plan to explain those references in another date and entry.
Mainly, I just need the Lord. I'm so reliant on him because I haven't even had time to really feel anything in the last month. I'm thankful that Jesus knows me and all that I need. I love Hebrews. He has provided real heart rest and I just want to serve him in joy and without anxiety.
For Crusade:
My financial partners know about my life up until the emergency that happened Oct 23rd and after. I have so much to tell them all and feel very thankful for their prayers and love. I love them back.
My sleep, excercise and eating habits are all questionable presently. They can't be qualified. They were put on hold for a month and are there only to serve as a reminder of how I don't take super great care of myself (there's the word for you). I'm in process and I need Jesus big time.
Taking a day with the Lord is what I most want to do in the world right now. I miss God's perspective on all of this and have felt myself switch onto autopilot and trust God's words that tell me He is with me always and that he will never leave nor forsake me. Autopilot is, however, not where I prefer to be. I'm being honest though. In the past my days with the Lord have been so refreshing and happy. We eat muffins and drink coffee (no seriously) and then I read and write and read and thank God for all of the blessings he has provided that I can tend to forget when I'm treading and sleeping on unfamiliar ground.
There you have it. Y'all may be asking y'allselves, "What the Bishkeck is she talking about?" My response: "What is Osh do you think I'm talking about?" I mean really.
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